The year is four hundred and fifty years before Christ and Greece is in the middle of a bloody war against the
Persians. The leader of Greece’s three hundred elite Spartans is both the general and the king of Greece,
king Leonidas. He is middle aged, tall, and has impassable leader ship skills. It is day three of the battle and
every single Spartan remain standing strong in the thunderous weather, both motionless, and emotionless.
Two hundred and ninety nine are on the edge of exhaustion, except for one, king Leonidas himself, battle torn
but still strong. The rain is coming down hard and the Spartans take advantage of it to take a break from battle
but not enough time to sleep.
The sun begins to lower and king Leonidas gathers all three hundred of his battle ready Spartans, and so the
king and his Spartans continue to march north to the heart of the Persian army. It is now day five of the
Spartan campaign and they have made encounters with the second horde of Persians. King Leonidas has
begun to loose men, they fought hard but they have lost fifty men in only their second encounter of the
Persians. The kings arms where cut and he was bleeding out, his spear began to fill heavy, his hands became
saw, his vision was blurred due to exhaustion, and his sandals where falling apart. But he stood out from the
rest of the Spartans because he ignored all of it he ignored the cut arm, the blurred vision, the saw, hands, the
heavy spear, and the broken sandals and still fought with courage and honour. The sun glared on his blood
red cape and his six inch spear head
January 8, 2015 at 12:42 pm
This is vivid and highly descriptive writing which is alive with possibilities for greatness. It is also regrettably too short for submission.
Arun, you will need to finish this piece as a matter of priority as at this stage I am unable to give you a mark for it which is in line with its eventual potential.
Perhaps try and focus on just a description of the battle and the scenes there rather than trying to advance a plot of any kind. The goal with this piece of writing is not to finish a novel (which would be impossible in 6-700 words anyway) but rather to establish your skills as a writer through deft handling of mood and place. You start to do this here but there is still a long way to go.
14/40